


Selection

by sottovocexo



Category: Legend Series - Marie Lu
Genre: Birthday, Epilogue, F/M, Romance, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-17
Packaged: 2018-12-02 20:17:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 1,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11516682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sottovocexo/pseuds/sottovocexo
Summary: A series of vignettes imagining June’s birthdays as outlined in the epilogue of Champion (2013).





	1. Twenty-First

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “My twenty-first birthday was an elaborate affair in Vegas, where Anden invited me to a summer festival and then ended up kissing me in my hotel room.”

Anden walks me to my room, and I invite him in. As the lock opens with a click, I look back over my shoulder at him. He does not look inside the room, surveying the scene; he looks at me. He looks at me like I am someone he can't have.

When we are inside, I walk over to the window seat, nestled against beautiful bay windows that overlook the main strip of Vegas. Anden lingers near the door. He glances around the room, sees no coat at the end of the bed, and joins me at the window. 

But he cannot see inside my head. That my vision is still filled with light.

“I hope you had a good time tonight,” Anden says. So formal, so official. I laugh a little at how professional he remains, even though we are alone.

“Come on, it’s just the two of us,” I say. “You know you can relax.” 

“I know,” he sighs. “And that’s the problem.” He takes a seat beside me, backlit by the bright buildings, a handsome silhouette carved into the night sky. The space between us surges with electricity. He wants to say something. Do something. I can see it in his eyes, the way his mind is running. 

“I envy you,” he says instead, and I wonder what he had really been thinking about. “What it must feel like...to have everyone throw their full confidence behind you, to trust you with anything, because they know you will accomplish it. You can do anything." My stomach spins and I look away. 

“I’ve always admired you,” I find myself telling him, soaking in this quiet chemistry. “How composed you remain under pressure. Like nothing in this world can break you--not the coldest stare or the harshest word or the toughest war.” I meet Anden’s gaze, and I can’t find my next thought. He looks bowled over by what I am saying, like he never thought he would hear it. As if he never thought I could love him.

Well, can I?

He brushes the bangs from my eyes and searches my face, studying my features. Always in control, always reasoning. When he closes the gap, he instead kisses my cheek, his lips soft and warm, a man quick to learn from past mistakes. He pulls away, and he must see the disappointment in my eyes because he leans in once more, and this time he does not disappoint. 

His eyes crinkle when he smiles. “I want to do that every time I look at you.”

I return his smile, ready to begin again.


	2. Twenty-Second

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The first birthday I celebrated with Anden as my official boyfriend.”

Anden is what I’ve always known, and he is everything new I’ve learned. Like Metias, he is composed, gentle. Like Day, he is driven. Like me, he has lost everything. Like us all, he seeks change. He effects change. 

He is familiar. He is the future. He makes sense. I am delighted to be on his arm.

We are the talk of the town. The Republic has known for months that we have been more. But it has never really been a secret. He has always been like electricity, more than my Elector. I have now known him for six years. Six years I have spent at his side as Princeps-Elect, then soldier, now girlfriend. 

We walk into the restaurant before Tess, Pascao and the others have arrived. He pulls my chair out for me and seats himself across the table. He smiles, his green eyes shining even in the low light.

“What?” I ask. “What is it?”

He runs a hand through his wavy hair and sighs. “Every day I think you're too good to be true, and I'll never be able to hang onto you. That it's only a matter of time before you realize.”

There it is. His heart, beautiful and pure, the one he has given to me--shares only with me. Those thoughts meant only for my ears.

“I hope I never wise up, then,” I say, smiling. Meaning it.

For a year I have felt guilty, accepting his heart while my own has been given to another. But I have learned that love never leaves you--it never has to. It becomes a part of you, like a ring in a tree, growing with you. With Metias, I felt protected, beloved. With Day, I felt strong and agile and brilliant, shining in his light. With every breath, Anden shows me I am valuable and valued.

He is all I want. He walks in the right way. Still, it is hard to forget the boy who is living light.


	3. Twenty-Third

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Spent at an induction ceremony that placed me as the commander of all squadrons in California, the youngest lead commander in Republic history.”

When Anden pins the Republic insignia to my uniform (a new coat the shade of oxblood, with a shining gold stripe running the length of my suit), I know it is being presented by my boyfriend, not so much by the young Elector. 

“You might want to tone down your smile,” I whisper, though I can’t help but smile back. I am proud of my accomplishment, proud to serve the Republic in this role, beaming that Anden is proud of me too. “The other soldiers might get jealous.”

“Maybe you should try being less impressive, then,” he says. “There's only so much I can do about it."

I turn to face the crowd as the reading is being prepared. I scan the audience, knowing I will not see the face I am looking for. I am looking for a ghost. I laugh a little, thinking that if Metias was here, he would probably be standing where I am instead, receiving the honor of becoming commander of all squadrons in California. And I would be the doting sister supporting him from afar. 

More than anything, I hope Metias is watching. I hope he is proud.

All that I am, all that I've done, is for him.


	4. Twenty-Fourth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “A birthday spent without Ollie.”

Staying in the apartment without Ollie was like living in Ruby sector without Metias. Each moment a painful one, like trying to breathe without air. How difficult those days were. How I longed for his presence, still waking each morning thinking he might be just around the corner.

Anden was there for me when it happened. Even arranged for a small service, honoring Ollie as a soldier to his country. The dog beside me every step of the war. He deserved it. 

It was difficult for me to stay. Anden knew that. So I spent fewer nights there and more with him, until he invited me to stay as long as I needed, to bring my belongings, to move in together if I wished. I accepted. 

Still, today doesn’t feel any easier. No matter where I sleep, yet another piece of me is gone, one more light snuffed out.


	5. Twenty-Fifth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Dinner and dancing with Anden on board the RS Constellation.”

The diamond bracelet he presents to me is impeccable (all 20 stones are colorless, somewhere between grades D and F, FL or IF at the least), fit for a night of dinner and dancing. He tells me it matches my necklace, the ruby chain I’m always wearing. Of course he noticed. Am I foolish enough to believe he doesn’t know who it came from? He could have tried to replace it over the years, but instead he gives me a bracelet to match. Even though we have been together nearly four years, does he still feel that he can’t compete? He slips the bracelet on. 

I lean back against the railing of the ship and admire the glow of the stones in the moonlight. “It’s beautiful,” I say.

Anden steps up to me, wrapping his hands around the railing behind me so his hands skim my waist and we are pressed together. He smiles and I feel a chill despite the warm ocean breeze. 

“For you to wear it, it has to be,” he says. 

A slow song from the orchestra on the dance floor drifts our way. He takes my hand, wraps his arm around my waist, and spins me into position. He twirls me, our hands entwined, our laughs tangled, our eyes lost in starlight. 

As the music continues out onto the sea, riding along the waves, dinner is announced with the clinking of glasses. Anden and I break apart, hardly able to catch our breath. I run my fingers along the diamonds on my wrist, suddenly struck with the phantom of the paper-clip ring on my right hand. 

Beauty comes in different forms. I know that now, with Day’s blue eyes in my memory and Anden’s green eyes before me.


	6. Twenty-Sixth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Spent with Pascao and Tess as I told them about being freshly broken up from Anden, how the young Elector and I came to a mutual agreement that I simply couldn’t love him the way he wished I would.”

I am surprised by how much it hurts to tell the story. 

Our agreement may have been mutual, but the decision was entirely his. Even though Anden won't say as much, being so diplomatic, I know we are over because he had to end it. For months, our interactions ended in exasperated arguments: Anden venting his frustrations that our love was not equal, that he always worked harder, loved more, and received a fraction in return. 

I hated to see him like that--the man who could keep himself together no matter what, breaking over me. I knew I could never love him enough. But “I’m sorry” didn’t cut it when Anden was telling me, “I wish you were mine.”

He is so right for me. But he is not the one I want. The one I dream about, the one I feel for in the middle of the night, the one I ache for. The one who walks in the light.

Last week, we had our final argument. Anden leaned forward, one hand cradling the back of my neck, and pressed his lips to my forehead, sealing our end. 

I think his decision is brave. Unlike another, he is strong enough to know he deserves better, that I am no good. I wish the other boy in my life had learned the same lesson. Maybe if he had, he could have let me go and I wouldn't have had to lose him completely, wouldn't have to live a life knowing I am nothing to him. I would have rather been his past than to live in the present as another face in the crowd. 

With Anden, I am thankful that I will remain in his life as a steady, daily presence. He, my Elector. I, his commander. I will never be able to give him up completely.

And it is also torture, because I will still have with Anden what I desired with Day: the bare minimum.


End file.
